been pretty silent on your side of the fence. what? someone douse victorino with another beer, er what?? oh. lidge blow another save? mybad. shoot me some shit soon or i hex your team. amen.
9 days til p's and c's....4 aces...beat that hand 55. this is the number that makes the sun glimmer, the birds sing, and the waterfalls...fall? yeah. time for a smoke and way the shit more caffeine. oh btw. your boy cliff is a sassy little bitch. mybad. he actually complimented your squad yesterday....on their PAST accomplishments so what. he's a tool. victorino has more integrity in his little finger than...wait. am i talking about shane victorino's body parts before noon again? wtf?! AND ANOTHER THING. CLIFF LEE SHOULD BE COMPLIMENTING MY TEAM. HOW MANY GODDAMNED RINGS DOES THAT SKANK HAVE, ANYHOW? (yeah. red bull number one is kickin in.)EVEN SHANE VICTORINO HAS A WORLD SERIES RING. i mean, come on
maybe he wasn't complimenting...maybe it was sympathy (Sympathy for the Devil please. mister "my back. my poor back. i can't get any of my post-season teams to a world series championship cause i'm an elitist primadonna bitch?" yeah. meanwhile he SYMPATHIZES over my boys who are on like their 16th season of MOMENT BY MOMENT, DAY BY DAY, YEAR BY YEAR LABOR, STRUGGLE, DEFEAT, AND VICTORY? uh huh. sympathize that you'll never have 5 world championship rings, mr. lee. im sure this soothes mr. pettitte's deepest needs inside: the need for YOU to THINK OF HIM. sympathize that no ONE TEAM truly knows WHAT THE HELL to expect from you because you are NOT a team player...have sympathy for those who are CLEARLY uncut for your form of integrity, honor, committment, and GLORY. elitest primadonna bitch...I looked it up in the dictionary and it said...Professional Baseball Player you know i'm right. deep down inside you know this. and i respect that you will stand behind your team and it's members. but...hell, am i really going to say this? yes i am. I HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR THAT EVIL ROY HALLADAY than cliff ELITEST PRIMADONNA BITCH lee.god. don't tell anyone i know that i just gave halladay props... :)
BUT! i like shane victorino more than halladay. and victorino is a dog. so, just balancing out the scales for your reference point beneath the point of zero
thanks....the balance is re-established in the universe in parting, kind sir, i'd like to say something. i respect the phillies. there's no discounting this team. hell, i have to have SOME modicum of respect for pretty much ANYONE out there playing the very game that promotes the beating of my heart. from infinity to infinity, i have a baseline respect for every person attached to this game, because i love the game. but your phillies. i will FOREVER be in debt to them for that whole 2008 thing. lordhavemercy, my chest tightens and i feel the unquenchable forcings of a smile when i contemplate HOW your BADASS team confronted those smarmy fucking tampa stupidass bay losers...how tampa believed that their little "come from behind in the 7th and pull all kinds of shit and win with a walk-off," maneuver would work on your boys; which had been their little modus operandi all season. well, THAT, and their EFFERVESCENT BULLSHIT ENTITLEMENT PHENOMENON.well, in the end. your boys arrived at the OK CORRAL with their guns loaded and their post-season poise, reason, moxie, and execution capabilities. they never flinched. they never relented. not even when LORD DARTH SELIG propogated a NEW MLB RULE of postponing the game RIGHT WHEN THE FUCKING RAYS TIED THE SCORE.
your boys were calm, cool, collected, and THEY had the "acumen of a seasoned pro." they were calculated, they conspired, and they excelled. when the veneer of "HEY, WE'RE JUST THE LITTLE TAMPA BAY RAYS YOU'RE PICKING ON," tactics of manipulative bullshit didn't work, and the "HEY, BUD PROMISED US WE'D WIN SO HE COULD GO INTO HISTORY WITH PROOF THERE IS PARITY IN MLB," didn't work...the masters of illusion and confusion and "taking it by force in the latter innings," got a little dose of their own godamned medicine.
by my boy Mr. U. with that fake throw to first that actually gave jason asshole bartlett the green light to run home: where the ball was waiting in the glove of carlos ruiz. it was one of the greatest moments i will ever spend loving your team. and one of the longest moments.
so...55 days, baby. thanks for the shit i requested. i shant hex your team. i haven't alot of high-aspirations for my team this season, but i do eagerly await the beauty, joy, frustration, and elation i will find on those diamonds. yours, mine, and ours. best of luck to your men.
and this is why I love the game....I can smell the grass on the infield right now...
