Wednesday, July 02, 2008

we are now, officially, IN HELL.

...a couple of weeks ago, i finally broke down and went to my doctor.

a sore throat, and various other torturous maladies of which i was beset, were harshing my usual Mary Sunshine self...

therefore, i submitted myself to the might-as-well-just-burn-the-money-before-my-eyes experience of visiting my doctor.


"no treatment necessary. just suffer, hun. don't forget to pay on your way out."

insurance, you say? hahaha. like they'll touch 1 red cent of the hiked up fees THIS OFFICE intends to stick you with. feel better soon...

i guess it was somewhere around saturday or friday...i don't recall...when the mother got me on the phone to inform me that Mr. Igawa had taken the mound.

...a Major League mound, that is. not just the AAA or the AA...but our one of our games...against the evil Mets...that is: he was actually carrying the precious future of my team on his-stupid-inept-self.

and i guess it was at that point i realized: torture and malady can be far worse, even when one feels like they are on the doormat of death...

torture and malady are temporary.

hell is forever.

welcome to the july portion of the 2008 yankees season. pull up a chair.

i'm not going to go into how bad it is with stats and theories. what good would it do? besides, google all that. you'll see how melky is 0 for 2,506...and how rivera can get 22 out of 23 save opporunities with a 0.00 era...but a non-save? hell no.

i'm not going to go into everyone's OPS, OBP, or SLG. that takes too much time, and it's annoying having to make sure you have everyone's numbers correct...and, quite actually, it's just horrifically confusing.

how in the hell can we have the players we do and have 5 runs in the past 3 games? against piss poor texas...and the equally inept Mets?!

come on.

pitching. let's focus on pitching. let's get a good pitcher and all will be well. really? well, lately, (aside from the game-winning run rivera allowed last night) pitching has dialed in. not stellarly, but adequately.

run support. what a joke. it's like a prayer for god to feed all the impoverished countries and their destitute. having a concept of the answer and actually executing that concept into action are two totally different things. either way...a meal...or a homerun are just temporary solutions to an ongoing problem. tomorrow, the need for food (and runs) will return and the solution must resurface.

teach a man to fish?

these are highly paid men we are discussing. entertainers, athletes...however you wish to quantify the new york yankees, do so. but these men are paid to perform. and yes, i realize, no man is a machine, per se...but...when you have no fewer than 55 thousand paying no less than 40 dollars per ticket to watch a team compete in a major league baseball game:

could you just fucking try to win?

who to blame...?

melky. girardi. cashman. arod.

me? i'd prefer to simply hate the evil tampa bay faction. really. it almost pains me to see what they've been doing to the satanic group of evildoers known as: the boston red sox.

yes. that's right. it bothers me to see boston lose. now that's sick.

but really. these icky little creepy tenacious assholes. the evil tampa bay DEVIL ray faction who shall NOT lose their DEVIL-named status EVER in MY BOOK. these smarmy little shits, who seek a brawl with any and every one

who...for whatever reason, in years gone by...had only the yankees' number...and left the rest of the league alone, while they sat in last place for the east all season--

look. it goes like this: the red sox go on a losing streak and the yankees get excited and start hittin everything under the sun. then the red sox wake up and the yankees go under...

it's natural. the yin and yang. yankees / red sox. the only time we're both on the upswing is september. generally we all fart around before the all-star break. we aim at gaining 17-20 wins a month prior to that...but no one is wearin blisters into their hands or feet over it before july.

and this evil tampa bay faction of assholes just hauls off and decides to slither in on our slackass time and grab 1st place in the division for their damned selves?

i hate them. garza. evan. their new owners.

and everyone is on their bandwagon. even my boss. tampa bay all the way and all that. while the yankee fans and the red sox fans fight and quarrel amongst themselves over just WHO to blame for their seeming individual (yet conjoined) failure(s.)

look. melky may be in a drought. and our pitching may be shit right now. and the red sox may be struggling with whatever it is they struggle with...


but. this is july 2nd. and the only reason why this feels shittier than it usually does is because we have a team who is monopolizing on our devil-may-care attitude before the all-star break.

if new york or boston intend to play ball this october...we best get to gettin. because it ain't devil-may-care, hon---> the devil rays DO CARE and they are showin it.