Wednesday, September 28, 2011



oh my GOODNESS! where to START?


well, i just wanna give a shout out to REIMOLD (spelling insignificant, really) and to the other dude (ANDINO?) for SMACKIN THE SNOT out of the ball on JONATHON PAPELBON'S WATCH.



i wanna thank the RED SOX for manufacturing one of the FUNNEST septembers i've had in a long time...

i wanna thank the TAMPON BAY RAYS for being pesky lil shites and makin boston SWEAT...


i wanna give a shout out to all 90 of the batters across the League (both American annnnd National) who were routinely HIT BY BOSTON PITCHERS UPON VARIOUS PARTS OF THEIR PERSONS...


god...who am i forgetting?? oh, i wanna give a shout out to LESTER for pitching on 3 days rest and looking JUST AS BAD TODAY as he has for a while now...





i wanna give a shout out to the 2010 RED SOX TEAM who, while missing ALL THE PRIMADONNA OVERPAID PHENOMS WHO WERE HERALDED AS THE NEXT WORLD SERIES MESSIAHS FOR 2011, went out there and played some BADASS BALL as minor leaguers called up and whatnot, GUESS WHAT BOYS? YALL scored only 1 less win last year than when ALL THE PRIMADONNAS RETURNED FROM THEIR VARIOUS REAL OR IMAGINARY INJURIES and after THEO SOLD THE FARM TO GET CARL "don't axe me to do shit for this team," CRAWFORD & "YO," ADRIAN GONZALEZ!



(and them kids only had to hit 53 batters, nearly half as many as the 2011 INPENETRABLE STARTING ROTATION OF AWE AND WONDER we all beheld and read about and were made to HEAR about on a daily basis from december til, well, TIL NOW.


GOD BLESS THE BALTIMORE ORIOLES FOR BEING GUTSY, GRITTY, AND SHOWING THE WORLD: "WE GOT FOR $85 MILLION WHAT YOU AIN'T GOT FOR $160 MILLION!" *

*(mind you, YO ADRIANS SALARY AND BONUS AREN'T REFLECTED IN THAT SUM, AND RUMOR HAS IT: IN THE END, THE BOSTON RED SOX WILL MORE THAN LIKELY HAVE OUT-SPENT THE YANKEES IN 2011. jus sayin.)


wow. before closing, i wanna thank JESUS and the Academy and the makers of Red Bull and MLB EXTRA INNINGS. hat's off to the red sox for their historic moment, witnessed by MOST of us...never before accomplished in baseball: the GREATEST COLLAPSE IN ALL MAJOR LEAGUE HISTORY. i knew ya'll had it in you. thanks for making our dreams a reality. good night and God bless!