Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Introducing another possibility entirely for tomorrow's game against the evil Texas faction at Yankee Stadium, in the form of a pitcher.

Brian Gordon may very well be replacing Bartolo Colon tomorrow. Uh huh. Sure, we've speculated; Noesi? Phelps? D.J. Mitchell? Our boy Manny Banuelos?


But, the Brass have announced this most recent signing of Gordon from the Philadelphia Phillies minor league affilliate, the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.


Uh huh. the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. Associated with the evil and smarmy Philadelphia Phillies. Kinda makes you wonder how close the Phillies ever were to being known as the Philadelphia Philly Valley Pigs. But, that's neither here nor there. Some labels need not be in writing...


The haters will basically describe this transaction as one where the Yankees broke into Gordon's little home and terrorized him and made him sign a contract. Uh huh. Like a Pitching Acquisition Home Invasion. Uh huh.


Well, I've read where Pitching Acquisition Home Invasions happen all the time. But generally they occur in the Japan Industrial League...And I do believe those Pitching Acquisition Home Invasions usually involve wontons. Uh huh. Wontons...and nunchucks. Now, I haven't read anything about this most recent signing of Gordon with the Yankees having anything to do with neither wontons nor nunchucks, so shut the shit up all you Philadelphia Valley Pig Yankee haters out there, got me?


The New York Yankees ain't the Japanese Industrial League.


The haters will tell you how Gordon was kidnapped against his will from his beloved evil Iron Pig team within the benevolent and hermetically sealed womb of the Phillies minor league detention center for the perpetually inept; and forced him to actually agree to receive money for his services...and possibly an ongoing opportunity to pitch in the Majors for the most successful team in the history of the game of baseball...


God, how cruel and unusual. Get Amnesty International on the phone...


or would it be better to call the S.P.C.A.??


As a converted outfielder, Gordon pitched in 2007 and 2008 posting some kickass stats: 168 Games, 366.2 Innings, with a 3.09 ERA, with a 1.156 WHIP, 2.1 BB/9, and a 7.7 K/9. In 2008, however, Gordon was forced to align himself with the evil Texas faction.


(Ironic, isn't it?? We're facing Texas with the very "sloppy seconds," with whom they had zero interest in developing)


...hell no...not when they can chase down Cliff "Primadonna Elitist Bitch" Lee...


(whom they no longer have as he went to the evil Phillies after we pretty much laid our Texas Hold Em cards down with Lee stating we didn't want him)


(and poor evil Texas couldn't afford to keep him, or so they say, so the bitch ran off to the Phillies)


(and then skip ahead a few months and here we are to today: taking this guy Gordon from the Phillies and cartin' him back to face the evil Texas faction.)


yep: it all began with Texas. That's irony. Texas irony. The kind with tabakka and spurs.)


So far in 2011, Gordon with the Iron Pigs has had outrageously good numbers, 5-0 with a 1.14 ERA in 12 games, nine of them starts. He had 56 strikeouts and just seven walks.


Noesi, conversely, has 1-1 with a 3.92 ERA in four starts for Scranton/Wilkes-Barre and is 1-0 with a 1.76 ERA in four long-relief appearances. And Phelps is 4-4 with a 2.95 ERA in 12 starts in the minors.


Now, inasmuch as I would love to see my boy Noesi take the mound on Thursday, I still see this Gordon signing as a good move on the part of the Yankees. It enables the organization to continue developing our prospects, as well as maintaining a zero-risk relationship with Gordon, as he is utter and complete DFA material if he does poorly. Thus, in essence, we're buying time and protecting our prospects and their futures...


Yes, it may appear as though the Brass have opted to overlook the prospects and went 'a-shopping,' for someone 'better;' however, in reality, if our kids got injured or shelled, their futures could be severely impacted.


(Can anyone say Chase Wright?)


Gordon basically has no future, presently, with the Phillies, et.al. as a career minor leaguer...and now has an opportunity to step up and show the world what he's got.


And let me tell you, ain't nothin sweeter, I theorize, than to be just hangin out with your fellow Iron Pigmen on some idle Tuesday and to receive a call saying, "You may be pitching at Yankee Stadium on Thursday, get mentally prepared."


I theorize he got on a plane. Puts a whole new spin on the phrase, "When pigs fly."

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

The Boston Red Sox: Hit Me with Your Best Shot?

The Red Sox and their Nation must be so very proud of the accomplishments of their "Ace," Jon Lester, especially given his most recent outing against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium, June 7, 2011.

Lester presently holds 8 wins to his season outings. Kudos. Sure am glad I spent time on my knees in prayer when his health was failing, and his future looked exceedingly doomed. A cancer survivor, yes, I admit, a tear filled my eye when I first beheld him back on the diamond...and back on the mound. It makes today's game all that much more intolerable to behold...as well as the mounting patterns I behold from not only Lester, but Lackey, and the Red Sox organization, as a whole.

Mark Teixeira was not the most recent victim of Lester's propensity to hit batters with pitches. Actually, he is in fairly good company. 35 other batters across the league can understand Teixeira's discomfort...some more than others, obvioulsy. This may be due to the fact that of the 20 rostered Red Sox pitchers, only 8 have not hit a batter with a pitch this year. Lester leads the Club with 9 hit-by-pitches in 13 games. John Lackey comes in 2nd place in the bean-ball effort with accomplishing 7 hit batters in 8 games. There are 10 other Red Sox pitchers who have hit at least 1 batter...well, actually somewhere between 1 and 5, each.

In this graph, you can see the dates of the games, the pitchers who hit batters, the hit batsmen, and their position within their clubs that day. I find it interesting how there have been 8 hit DH's...coincidence, perhaps. 5 hit Short Stops, 5 hit Centerfielders...etc. etc. But what I truly find intriguing is how in less than 11 innings from May 20th, 2011 through May 21st, 2011, Marlon Byrd was hit 3 times by 3 separate Boston Pitchers...who somehow managed to actually throw strikes and only had difficulty with THAT particular batter. . . until he finally ceased presenting himself to bat, due to his emergency injury requiring hospitalization.

I find it especially interesting how these hit by pitches have increased in activity, especially in the month of May. I smile in spite my frustration at this disgusting trend and unrelenting continuum from the hands of Red Sox pitchers to the opponents they face and ask you: If, "Once is interesting, twice is curious, and three times is a pattern," then what do you call 36 times out of 60?

Monday, June 06, 2011

New York Yankees @ Anaheim: High and Tight or Right and Wrong?

On the average, umpires are 90% accurate in calling balls and strikes. This means on the average, 30+ pitches are called incorrectly during Major League Baseball games. MLB Umpires have been found to consistently call a strike zone that is not defined by the MLB Rulebook.

Mike Estabrook was the Home Plate umpire for tonight's game, the New York Yankees at Anaheim. The rookie Ivan Nova versus the accomplished ace veteran starter, Jered Weaver.

As some may not know, MLB actually "grade," their umpires. Mike Estabrook's stats as Home Plate umpire are interesting, to say the least. Of his officiating at Home Plate, 75% of the time he will call a "strike," where the ball is clearly above the strike zone. Conversely; Only 25% of pitches located below the strike zone will be called "strikes."

In just 4 games Estabrook has officiated as Home Plate umpire in 2011, he has observed an average of 9.5 runs per game, while only issuing 5.5 walks. However, his "SOPG," or "strike outs per game," is one of the highest in the league at an average: 15.5.

Ivan Nova, encountered this challenge of Estabrook's 75% bias of "shoulder high pitches must be thrown in order to have them called for strikes," in the 1st inning. Achieving one out, Aybar singled off of a fastball thrown by the rookie. Nova then logged a "wild pitch," with Abreu at-bat, advancing Aybar to 2nd. Unfortunately, Abreu doubled off Nova after 5 pitches, sending Aybar home. Then we encounter a "passed ball," by Russell Martin, advancing Abreu to 3rd. Well, what the hell?? Now's a good time to walk someone, eh? Why not Torii Hunter? With only 1 out, perhaps we can force the double play. And that's about when Homeplate Umpire Estabrook began to get creative with the strike zone. With 2 pitches, the damage was done...

Skip ahead to the 4th inning. Branyan singles on a curveball straight over the plate, Trumbo also had his eye on that curveball that he finally received on the 5th pitch, landing both Branyan on 2nd and Trumbo on 1st. Nova then chose to stick with all fastballs with Mathis' at-bat, but no matter where he threw them, it seems Estabrook believed bases should be loaded...

Borjous came up to bat, he singled, Branyan scored, and I believe the trainwreck could have been far worse had batters like Izturis not struck out, popped out, or flied out. Because of Ivan Nova's 2 whole strike outs, I don't believe 1 of them were a Called Third Strike. Damn it, huh, Estabrook?

Weaver, on the other hand, did a fabulous job at pitching above the belt and logged 8Strike Outs, in addition to the bullpen's 3. I have no idea how many were "Called Strike Outs," but then again, I don't give a shit. Just take a look at Weavers pitching pfx for the game. The green dots are deemed BALLS and the red are CALLED STRIKES or deemed strikes via fouls or swinging strikes.


Poor officiating has ruined many otherwise amazing opportunities in Major League Baseball games. Rarely are these "mistakes," ever mentioned, however. Just another loss. Just another win.

...Unless your name just so happens to be Jim Joyce or Armando Galarraga.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Bud Selig: Money & Power...not necessarily in that order...

As the Commissioner of Baseball, Bud Selig became the first person to own a major league sports team while simultaneously holding ultimate authority over all aspects of the sport...

His father was a successful car dealer, and Selig's college roommate was Herb Kohl, who went on to own a chain of department stores, a seat in the Senate, and the NBA's Milwaukee Bucks. After college, Selig went to work at his father's car dealership, and eventually became a millionaire.

In 1970, Selig bought the one-year-old Seattle Pilots baseball team out of bankruptcy for $10.8-million, and announced that the team would become the Milwaukee Brewers. Selig was hailed as a hero in his home town, for bringing big league baseball back to Wisconsin after the National League's Milwaukee Braves had left for Atlanta four years earlier. Over the next 23 years, Selig's Brewers finished in last place or next-to-last 12 times, and made the playoffs twice. Then, in 1992, baseball's owners decided that Commissioner Fay Vincent had been too sensitive to fans and players' perspectives, and not attentive enough to the owners' needs.

They pressured Vincent to resign, and Selig was named "Acting Commissioner" on 10 September 1992. To the casual baseball fan, the arrangement might sound peculiar. But if you're a baseball aficionado, you'll probably understand that it's worse than that. The Commissioner's Office was established in 1920, in the aftermath of scandal: eight players for the Chicago White Sox had been accused of taking bribes to intentionally lose the 1919 World Series. The game of baseball was condemned for being fixed, and baseball's owners understood that if fans questioned the game's integrity they'd buy fewer and fewer tickets.

So they invented the post of "Commissioner", and hired a famous and well-respected judge, Kenesaw Mountain Landis. Landis was given a lifetime contract, so he couldn't be fired, and his only responsibility was to take whatever actions he deemed to be in the best interest of baseball. One of Landis's first acts was to ban the eight "Black Sox" players.

As a car dealer who owned a baseball team, Selig's impartiality as Commissioner was often questioned, but not nearly enough. Putting an owner in charge of baseball's integrity was like asking a team's catcher -- instead of an umpire -- to call balls-and-strikes. Selig's daughter, Wendy Selig-Prieb, took over as "acting president" of the Brewers, and Selig's investment in the team was -- not immediately, but eventually -- placed in a trust.

During the 1994 season, players went on strike, and Selig took a hard line against them. On 14 September 1994, Selig announced that the remainder of the season would be cancelled. It was the first year without a World Series since 1904. In January 1995, Selig reassured fans that there would be a 1995 season, but "with the best players willing to play" -- meaning scabs. Spring training opened with minor league players in major league uniforms, but the fans' and media's reactions were so negative, Selig relented. The strike was settled before the season began, by acceding to almost all the players' demands. Canceling the 1994 World Series, then, accomplished nothing for baseball, except to discourage and alienate its fans.

In 1998, Selig was promoted from "acting" to "official" Commissioner of Baseball. By then it was common knowledge, visibly obvious to any observer, that several of baseball's biggest stars were bulking up with the use of steroids. With sluggers' new artificially-enhanced strength, home run records that had stood for decades were topped and topped again. Selig did nothing until, several years later, public trials and non-fiction books documented how the game had been juiced.

In 1999, Selig announced that he was negotiating to have corporate advertising sewn onto the sleeves of players' uniforms. Another uproar led to the scuttling of those plans, so far. Also in 1999, Selig finally vacated his office in the Brewers' ballpark -- not for ethical reasons, but because County Stadium was being torn down. It was replaced by one of those new faux old-fashioned stadiums with fewer seats and higher prices.



At the 1999 World Series, Selig was embarrassed when fans voted banned-for-life Pete Rose to baseball's "All-Century Team". The ceremony, at Atlanta's Turner Field, was the first time Rose had been allowed inside a major league ball park since his 1989 expulsion from the game, and he got the longest, loudest ovation of any of the all-time greats -- more applause than Ted Williams, or even Atlanta's beloved Hank Aaron, and much, much more than Selig. And immediately after the ceremony, before the game, Rose was required to leave.



In 2000, Selig had Major League Baseball take control of each team's websites. Shortly thereafter, baseball began requiring fees from fans who wanted to listen to radio play-by-play on-line. Pop-up ads were triggered on every page at mlb.com, so fans who cared enough to click ten pages of statistics got ten pop-up windows.

In October 2001, Selig announced that 25 of baseball's 30 teams had lost money that year, and the game was $4-billion in the red. When skeptics wanted to see the teams' books, the Commissioner would not allow it. Selig decided that baseball's financial problems were caused by having too many teams in smallish cities, and he announced that at least two teams would be eliminated by the start of the 2002 season. He wouldn't say which two, however, so fans of four struggling teams -- the Florida Marlins, Minnesota Twins, Montreal Expos, and Tampa Bay Devil Rays -- spent the off-season worrying. The press finally decided the Expos and Twins were on the chopping block. Twins fans sued, and as spring training loomed for the 2002 season, Selig announced that the Expos and Twins could continue playing baseball after all, as his "contraction" plans would be delayed at least another year. There's been no public announcements of contraction since.

On 9 July 2002, baseball played its annual All-Star Game in Milwaukee. The score was 7-7 in the 11th inning when the teams ran out of pitchers, and Selig announced the game would end as a tie. 40,000+ fans at the stadium booed, chanted "refund, refund", and started throwing trash onto the field. Millions watching on television must have given Selig the finger. "This is not the way I wanted [the game] to end," said Selig. "I was in a no-win situation," he added.

In 2002, Montreal Expos owner Jeffrey Loria wanted to dump that team and buy the Florida Marlins instead, an unprecedented switch. But after thirty-plus years of consistent losing, Loria's Expos had alienated almost all of Quebec and Canada, suffering dismal attendance, meaning Loria had no prospective buyers. Their games weren't even being broadcast on local TV or radio. So Selig had baseball itself -- a consortium of all the other owners -- buy the Expos. For several years, the Expos played many of their "home games" in San Juan, Puerto Rico. When they played in Montreal, the stadium was always close to empty, as Selig had made it clear it was just a matter of time until the team left Quebec. The Expos now play in Washington, DC.

Loria, meanwhile, was immediately allowed to buy the Marlins. His ex-partners in owning the Expos have sued Major League Baseball under the U.S. Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act.

In 2003, Selig announced that the league that won each year's All-Star Game would have home-field advantage in that year's World Series. Traditionalists were aghast. For a century, the home-field advantage for the championship had rotated each year, a seemingly fair system. But now, one of the most important factors in baseball's showcase event -- where the games are played -- may be decided when the second-baseman from a last place team hits a bad-hop grounder at the All-Star Game, months before.

In 2004, Selig announced that the logo for Spiderman 2 would be embroidered onto to tops of first base, second base, and third base in major league parks, as a promotional tie-in for that movie's release. Fans were again infuriated, and the New York Yankees refused to go along with the plan. Eventually Selig relented. Also in 2004, 12 years after becoming Commissioner, Selig sold his interest (local fans would say "disinterest") in the Milwaukee Brewers.

In smaller cities with baseball teams, Selig has repeatedly issued veiled threats to get state and local governments to underwrite new stadiums. "We love having Major League Baseball in [insert name of city], but the game just won't be viable here unless the team gets a new stadium." Unlike other private companies, most major league teams now conduct their business in buildings constructed and maintained by tax dollars.

Under Selig's watch, baseball has also added a few wrinkles that have proven popular with fans. The playoffs now include "wild card" teams, meaning it's no longer a prerequisite that teams have to finish in First Place. And they've added interleague play, where National and American League teams face each other during the regular season.

When he is interviewed by reporters, Selig really, really tries to be seen as a big softie with a sentimental love of baseball. Maybe he is, maybe he does. Selig says he cried when the Milwaukee Braves left for Atlanta in 1966. He cried, he says, at the end of Kevin Costner's last baseball movie, For the Love of the Game. Selig also says he vividly remembers going to a ball game at Yankee Stadium in 1949. It was his birthday present from his mom, and he remembers where he sat. "Up there," he says, pointing toward the right field upper-deck seats. "The Cleveland Indians played the Yankees. I think Bobby Avila may have hit a couple home runs." Memory is a tricky thing, but 1949 was Avila's rookie year. He played in only 31 games, and he hit no home runs.

As the game's Commissioner, Selig has done more damage to baseball than Pete Rose ever did. And those who still care about baseball can only wait and wonder what Selig will come up with next.

(thanks to NNDB.com)

Friday, February 04, 2011

a little facebooking with an avid phillies fan. enjoy.

been pretty silent on your side of the fence. what? someone douse victorino with another beer, er what?? oh. lidge blow another save? mybad. shoot me some shit soon or i hex your team. amen.

‎9 days til p's and c's....4 aces...beat that hand

‎55. this is the number that makes the sun glimmer, the birds sing, and the waterfalls...fall? yeah. time for a smoke and way the shit more caffeine.

oh btw. your boy cliff is a sassy little bitch. mybad.

he actually complimented your squad yesterday....on their PAST accomplishments

so what. he's a tool. victorino has more integrity in his little finger than...wait. am i talking about shane victorino's body parts before noon again? wtf?!

AND ANOTHER THING. CLIFF LEE SHOULD BE COMPLIMENTING MY TEAM. HOW MANY GODDAMNED RINGS DOES THAT SKANK HAVE, ANYHOW? (yeah. red bull number one is kickin in.)

EVEN SHANE VICTORINO HAS A WORLD SERIES RING. i mean, come on

maybe he wasn't complimenting...maybe it was sympathy (Sympathy for the Devil

please. mister "my back. my poor back. i can't get any of my post-season teams to a world series championship cause i'm an elitist primadonna bitch?" yeah. meanwhile he SYMPATHIZES over my boys who are on like their 16th season of MOMENT BY MOMENT, DAY BY DAY, YEAR BY YEAR LABOR, STRUGGLE, DEFEAT, AND VICTORY? uh huh. sympathize that you'll never have 5 world championship rings, mr. lee. im sure this soothes mr. pettitte's deepest needs inside: the need for YOU to THINK OF HIM. sympathize that no ONE TEAM truly knows WHAT THE HELL to expect from you because you are NOT a team player...have sympathy for those who are CLEARLY uncut for your form of integrity, honor, committment, and GLORY.

elitest primadonna bitch...I looked it up in the dictionary and it said...Professional Baseball Player

you know i'm right. deep down inside you know this. and i respect that you will stand behind your team and it's members. but...hell, am i really going to say this? yes i am. I HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR THAT EVIL ROY HALLADAY than cliff ELITEST PRIMADONNA BITCH lee.

god. don't tell anyone i know that i just gave halladay props... :)

BUT! i like shane victorino more than halladay. and victorino is a dog. so, just balancing out the scales for your reference point beneath the point of zero

thanks....the balance is re-established in the universe

in parting, kind sir, i'd like to say something. i respect the phillies. there's no discounting this team. hell, i have to have SOME modicum of respect for pretty much ANYONE out there playing the very game that promotes the beating of my heart. from infinity to infinity, i have a baseline respect for every person attached to this game, because i love the game. but your phillies. i will FOREVER be in debt to them for that whole 2008 thing. lordhavemercy, my chest tightens and i feel the unquenchable forcings of a smile when i contemplate HOW your BADASS team confronted those smarmy fucking tampa stupidass bay losers...how tampa believed that their little "come from behind in the 7th and pull all kinds of shit and win with a walk-off," maneuver would work on your boys; which had been their little modus operandi all season. well, THAT, and their EFFERVESCENT BULLSHIT ENTITLEMENT PHENOMENON.

well, in the end. your boys arrived at the OK CORRAL with their guns loaded and their post-season poise, reason, moxie, and execution capabilities. they never flinched. they never relented. not even when LORD DARTH SELIG propogated a NEW MLB RULE of postponing the game RIGHT WHEN THE FUCKING RAYS TIED THE SCORE.

your boys were calm, cool, collected, and THEY had the "acumen of a seasoned pro." they were calculated, they conspired, and they excelled. when the veneer of "HEY, WE'RE JUST THE LITTLE TAMPA BAY RAYS YOU'RE PICKING ON," tactics of manipulative bullshit didn't work, and the "HEY, BUD PROMISED US WE'D WIN SO HE COULD GO INTO HISTORY WITH PROOF THERE IS PARITY IN MLB," didn't work...the masters of illusion and confusion and "taking it by force in the latter innings," got a little dose of their own godamned medicine.

by my boy Mr. U. with that fake throw to first that actually gave jason asshole bartlett the green light to run home: where the ball was waiting in the glove of carlos ruiz. it was one of the greatest moments i will ever spend loving your team. and one of the longest moments.

so...55 days, baby. thanks for the shit i requested. i shant hex your team. i haven't alot of high-aspirations for my team this season, but i do eagerly await the beauty, joy, frustration, and elation i will find on those diamonds. yours, mine, and ours. best of luck to your men.

and this is why I love the game....I can smell the grass on the infield right now...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


a friend of mine was talking the other day about his Dodgers...and his concerns for next season. having only encountered this guy right after once again enduring YET ANOTHER game of ALCS failure...another collapse...another episode of hopes dashed against the jagged rocks of despair...i found myself unable to do much other than listen.

(rather...i occupied space nearby while he spoke.)

i theorize i was seemingly stunned. speculating. wondering...

since last weekend, i've subjected myself to 35 consecutive innings of loss. (yeah, there was that 1 inning of something close to my team actually playing well)...but aside from that: 35 innings of total shit. 35 innings of ARE YOU KIDDING? 35 innings of "playing chicken." and yet, somewhere around the 29th inning of epic failure...i realized we may not be playing chicken. we may not be playing anything. including baseball.

my friend hesitated for a moment in his incessant Dodger bitchfest over the divorce and judge and "what if (this)," and "what if (that)," just long enough for me to interject.

DUDE. HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING MY STUPIDASS TEAM AT ALL?

he waved his hand in dismissal and said, "Dude. Jesus. Be glad your team made it."

as i walked away a short time later, i found myself literally speaking to myself aloud. "Be GLAD? Be glad we MADE IT? Why the hell would ANYONE want to deal with shit like this? Isn't it better to simply never make it to the post-season?"

and i mused on these thoughts.

ive mused for plenty of days recently. and not-so-recently. ive mused all season, and even prior to the season. the off-season...

is this normal? do normal people immerse themselves so much into something as remote and obscure as the game of baseball? do they continually check on the status and welfare of teams and players and prospects and...do they read history and spend hours on end in the winter watching documentaries on the remote and obsure game of baseball??

well, i don't care what normal people do.

not one damned bit.

this is how i'm wired. this is what i trip on. and that's that.

but i do sometimes envy normal people. like the cashier at the chevron, or my coworker, or even my Dodger friend (well, actually, no, i don't envy him)...but...somewhere on the planet are people completely oblivious to what today means. people who are seeing today as just some idle wednesday...lookin forward to this weekend and halloween and all that.

good for normal people.

they say freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

i wonder if i presently embody that definition with regard to my yankees...

cause, somewhere aroung the 28th, 29th consecutive inning of SHIT yesterday a thought occurred to me: it's over. tomorrow is our last game, or next to the last game. we will not advance and it's time to let this year's team rest.

let it be.

i don't generally give up on any challenge...but i generally weigh possibilities and principles behind that to which i invest myself.

my investment now is open to freedom.

not gripping tightly to an impossible feat against all odds...cause, well, sometimes we get so caught up in the struggle that we forget why we started the fight. it is reasonable to contend...for the yankees to try...to make every effort to play to the best of their ability and so on and so forth and blah blah blah

but dude. all godamned season long we have had a rocky and inconsistent team. all godamned season long i have held breath after breath after breath only to have NO GODAMNED CLUE what we were doing or HOW we were doing it.

yeah...the record showed we were tops. we held the east and all that. but...how the HELL were we the BEST? cause, we were often: SHIT. and if WE were shit, AND the best...then youre telling me the rest of the league is WORSE THAN US?

THAT was hard to comprehend.

which brings us to san francisco and texas and the phillies and us.

and...i guess on paper and within the realm of the Championship Series and Division Title winners and wildcard and all that other crap: we're the final 4 best teams.

hardly.

as i say farewell to this 2010 season with an exhausted and grateful heart, i am reminded that every season ends...and every ending season is hard to face.

but what i really miss, already, is seeing my team play well.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

magic math...and the 2010 post-season forecast...



stats. dig it. based upon my calculations:
the greatest threat for the yankees is tampa bay.
minnesota is not to be overlooked.
giants, atlanta: OUT.
rockies: IN.
whomever takes the alcs will face the phillies and beat them.

thus:
YANKEES v. TEXAS > YANKEES
TAMPA BAY v. MINNESOTA > TAMPA BAY >

YANKEES v. TAMPA BAY > ?

PHILLIES v. COLORADO > PHILLIES
CINCINNATI v. PADRES > CINCINNATI

PHILLIES v. CINCINNATI > PHILLIES

of course, we've eliminated the AARON BOONE, BUCKY DENT AND BILL BUCKNER factors...i'm jus sayin...

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

of A.J. Burnett, scope rifles, and compasses that point North...



I am at a complete loss with regard to A.J. Burnett's display of incredulous mayhem and uncontrolled devastation last night against the pathetically insipid Toronto Blue Jays...

This is to say, I WOULD hate him with the fire and passion of a thousand suns...but the time for that has come and gone. The depth of emotions welling up from my USUALLY WILLING TO FORGIVE AND FORGET, heart...has evolved into TODAY'S COMPLETE DISGUST AND WILLNGNESS TO ASPHYXIATE, heart. Hate is ineffective. Strangulation would suffice...

However, strangulation might require a step-ladder, 6 minutes alone with A.J., and, if successful, might eventually involve local and/or federal authorities. We have already clearly established, months ago, my predisposition toward authority figures. Me no likey.

Thus...back to the proverbial drawing board: There is a problem. There is no solution.

I don't care much for entertaining the concept of unsolvable problems.

...not where my best interest is concerned...

It is in my best interest not to be entwined with losers and defeat. It is in my best interest for my team to play well. I do not care much for losers and defeat. I would rather stab myself in the eye with a dull end of a half chewed pencil than sit patiently, while delusionally believing defeat is acceptable. It is not.

I consider such defeatest metalities to be rooted in defeatest hypotheses. Such hypoteses are repugnant, egregious, detestible, and just flat out annoyingly borderlining on flagrant Loserdom.

I would never rent an inch of space in Loserdom. I believe solutions exist to all problematic situations. I also believe some problematic situations indicate the need to run, don't walk...and to dust one's feet off from the Loserdom origin to which the problem initially existed. And after said running from said problematic situation, to gleefully kick one's heels in the air while realizing the liberation from said problematic situation...for...even escape can be seen as a profitable solution.

However, there is no escaping A.J....nor his portrayal as Home Run Derby Pitcher for the All-Star Toronto Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium last night.

This problematic situation is not one where escape and gleeful dust-flinging is possible.

The blood-letting to Canadia is over. I hope...

Yet, when a pitcher grants as many runs in ONE INNING as they gave up in the ENTIRE MONTH OF JULY, one must assume a problem is, indeed, at hand.

When a pitcher can sport a 1.99 ERA on May 4th, 2010 and a mere MONTH LATER (June 4th, 2010) enter into a downward spiril of losing EACH AND EVERY GAME (6/4; 6/10; 6/16; 6/21; 6/26; 7/2) one might seriously consider thinking about making a decision as to whether a problem is or is not at hand.

Said problem is at hand. Said problem is one which must be addressed. Said addressing of said problem should be swift and precise. Perhaps mercilessly addressed. I believe this seemingly inconsistent, yet, continual problem of defeat at the hands of A.J. Burnett must be met squarely in the middle of the forehead with the precision of a laser from a scope rifle... equipped with automatic bullet drop compensation, AccuPoint telescopic sights, and Kill Flash filters.

For...the problem with A.J. Burnett may be such that any reasonable and valid solution may seem too evasive or elusive...

But I like to think of the possibility of problem-apprehension.

Like a bank robber, reckessly careening a stolen get-away vehicle down the Pacific Coast Highway while blasting Anthrax's "Metal Thrashing Mad," we must stop this problem by PIT Maneuver...grab the skanky little felon by 4-point restraints and inject us some halcyion on said problem and make the problem do as we say. No Mirandizing. No lawyers necessary. No Bail. Comply. Or else...

In 2007, the Yankees witnessed a similar situation involving a 5-time All Star, 7-time Gold Glove winning pitcher; Mike Mussina. During that season, many similarities we presently enounter with A.J. Burnett, we encountered with Moose. Consistent inconsistency was what we, as fans, grew to expect, know, and endure. By August 27th of that year, Moose had allowed 32 runs in 3 starts and the Brass got upset. It was decided that Moose would be sent down, lose his slot in the rotation, and work through his mechanics. Or else.

The Yankees raised up a (then) unsmarmy and quite effective kid known as Ian Kennedy, (presently with the Arizona Diamondbacks, thank God.)

When Moose returned on September 12, 2007, (after 1 stint of relief pitching...the only time in his career he had ever thrown as a reliever) Moose was from thence forward: GOOD MOOSE.

In 2008 Mike Mussina went on to amass 20 wins in one season, having never accomplished that feat within his 18 seasons as a pitcher. We fans look upon those shaky weeks back in 07 with Kennedy slotted in place of Moose with ironic recollect...one of relief...one of disappointment...and ultimately one of gratitude. For even Moose, himself, admitted his need to address his own mental hurdles of personality, temperance, and his temendous need fora dose of humility. The very Drain-O required to empower, again, a phenominal pitcher who had seemingly imploded after 17 seasons...

Is this scenario plausible or even reasonable for our present-day A.J.? Is A.J. Burnett requiring some sending down to work on mechanics? And if we were to send A.J. down, is there a Kennedy to raise up?

A.J.'s velocity is consistent with his career numbers involving his fastballs and sinkers. Inasmuch as his strike out rates are down, his walks are consistent with his career numbers. If mechanics or injury were suspect, velocity would be effected. It isn't. He is still commanding his fastballs and sinkers...so what gives? He had a 1.99 ERA on May 4th, but presently has a 4.93. WHAT IS UP? Of his 5 starts in April, he lost 1; May outings yielded 4 wins of 6 games started...and then June he lost all 5 starts...July 2nd he went out 6.2 innings, allowed ZERO runs...and went on to win 4 more starts in July, allowing only 7 runs all month...so, yesterday he gives up 7 runs in the 5th inning...???

After his previous outing of July 17, 2010, where he was yanked off the mound after just 2 innings...he went on to explain to the media that he had cut his hands pretending to be Kevin Brown with the clubhouse doors in between the 1st and 2nd inning. This was after lying to his team and manager about cutting himself shaving. Uhm: Red Flag?

Oddly, I haven't heard any excuses for last night's fireworks blasting off the icky bats of 11.5 games behind us: Toronto...

Bottom line is: Last night's shelling of 7 runs in 1 inning...and A.J.'s 6 consecutive losses of June are, indeed, of serious concern. If A.J. performs this way in September and simply hands us a month of losses, what will become of the season? Is there a solution? Is there a problem?

The only possible "Kennedy's," at triple-A Scranton have been on the chopping block for trade fodder. Ivan Nova and Zach McAllister were main candidates for the Danny Haren acquisition. The Brass has been willing to use Nova, but tonight we are handing the game over to Dustin Moseley and his 3.24 ERA. Why would we skim past using Nova or McAllister who clearly have more innings and better ERA's? Because we don't want them to go all Tyler Clippard on us and become worthless to any team looking for major league level pitching, that's why.

So now what? Trust A.J.? Audition kids? Don't forget, we are limiting Phil's hughes innings. Will Sabathia and Vasquez be able to hold the whole house of cards together?

And...I theorize...this is where the hate-of-a-thousand-suns comes in. A.J. Burnett and his $84-million arm had better get a compass and figure out which way is North. If Tampa Bay can amass consistent performances by 5 children earning a total of $9.1-million dollars and match our season of wins and losses...then shame on us for once again assuming more is better.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Forks in the Road and Lightning of Today




As the electrifying buzz of the alarm clock jolted me awake, I stammered across the room to turn it off. The morning air seized every fibre of my being with a thousand frozen prickles...and as I gasped, a rush of fear flooded my barely conscious mind...


Stumbling to the kitchen, while cranking up the heater, I grabbed my Yankee mug and began to make my coffee. The pitch black sky outside, ominously watching me through the kitchen window...the corners of the windows, frosty...leaves swirling with the windy rain, smashing against the frozen glass...my heart began to sink...


I'll never forget that idle Wednesday morning, with it's sadness and anxiety...with it's regrets and fears. That was to be a Wednesday of arrival...a Wednesday of relief...a maiden voyage of victorious relaxation and resolution...

It was supposed to be over...fears, frustration, worry, regret...it was to be a thing of the past by Sunday. Done and done. And yet...here it was...still brewing...still breathing...still defying...ominously mocking...

I opened the front door and was immediately ht by an invisible, frozen wrecking ball of wind. A forceful blast of ice mixed with splinters of rain seized my presence...confronting me...overwhelming me...a force greater than me, insisting I relent...I dropped my head as I entered the world that day...

As I walked to work, maneuvering the umbrella this way and that...amidst the broken branches along the sidewalk...amidst the puddles...I prayed. With sadness and heaviness of heart, I asked God to simply help me...help me with how I was feeling. This was simply a game. Baseball. We are either going to go out there tonight and win, or we will lose. The odds were extremely in our favor...and had been...and I really needed to get a grasp on my emotions...click back into reality...

No team, in the history of baseball had ever come back from a 3-0 deficit and won the remaining 4 games, however, was my next thought. Even in prayer, I couldn't stop my thoughts...the very merry-go-round of thoughts that had been incessant for 4 days...and 4 long nights...


Maybe the Yankees were trying to make the series interesting...maybe it was a tickets/revenue thing...maybe they just weren't taking it all very seriously, having already won the first 3 games...knowing the only goal ahead was to win one more...

But the moment for sobriety was today. My team had sat back and squandered their enormous advantage through three more games...landing themselves in a one-game win or go home scenario...and tonight....tonight...was the verdict.

What if? Is it even possible? Could we lose? Why would we? Exhaling...exhausting my worries in my prayers...I threw out a compromise to God...give me a sign...just a glimmer...the first song I hear on my mp3 player will be that sign...okay?

And God answered.

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life."


And I knew. The message was delivered. The answer was unquestionable. We were going to lose tonight. We were going to lose in the biggest way possible. History would be made and we would have allowed it.

When the night sky returned to black that night and I was walking home from work...amidst the broken branches, puddles, and wind...I listened to that song again...I knew I would walk through the front door and the television would be on...I knew it would be about the 7th inning, or later...and I knew there might be a chance my understanding of the postcard message from Heaven might be wrong...

It wasn't.

The Yankees went on to lose the 2004 ALCS game 7...the first team in baseball history to lose 4 games in a row after having won the first 3. The Boston Red Sox would continue on in their quest to reach heights they had only ever dreamt...and would become Champions of Baseball for the first time in 86 years...

There was something about that particular loss that knit itself to my heart and soul. One of the most permeating, marrow wrenching, soul drenching defeats I have ever encountered in my life. I mean, Jesus...it is only baseball. It is only a game...

How is it a sports event can entwine itself into the deepest aspects of the heart and soul? I pondered that idea for a long time...many years...even to this day...and my answer is...I don't know.


Nobody likes to lose.


Loss...loss is pain. Whether it be your English Springer Spaniel who had to be put to sleep when you were at school...or your best friend who had to leave you to attend college back east, on a hot summer day, when you couldn't have imagined pain so deep could exist in your 15 years on the planet...

For me...baseball transcends the field...transcends time and space...the victory and defeat on mere grass with mortal players throughout all time has taken on a fourth dimension in my heart and mind...

A spiritual dimension. A passion I cannot convey. I guess my life experiences just seem to coalesce with what I behold when I watch. Bravery, envy, injustice, tenacity...it's all there. The very aspects of this experience known as life...if you listen very closely...open your eyes and absorb this game...it lives. It breathes. It teaches...and those lessons become specific unto you, the beholder...if you listen with your ears closed and see with your soul open...

From 2004 unto this present day, I have had many thoughts back to that black Wednesday morning...and the following days thereafter...the tears...loss...denial...frustration...knowing without a doubt that losing is absolutely possible at any point in time...grasping the reality that stats really, in the end, don't amount to much...

Smiling and shaking my head at teams like Boston...who were able to toe up to the line of failure and challenge it...who were brave enough to believe...and believed so pure-heatedly that their actions would duplicate that belief...who were not moved by odds...who were unwilling to lose...

The jealousy I developed for that spirit in a team...that moxy...that boldness without reason...realizing the complacency and apathy that resided in my own team...

Through the years I have smiled as I have seen that lightning flash of excellence from all over the league...from watching archived games...and I realize, this, too...transcends time and space...

Today...the New York Yankees hold the best record in baseball...and the season holds roughly 40 games remaining...the Red Sox are struggling to salvage a post-season opportunity...the Texas Rangers are knocking on unfamiliar doors...and bats are swingin...strikes are smokin...plays are being made with the bravest and purest of efforts...

Today, I look across the league...this season that is 2009...and I wonder...after so many years of failing and falling and complacency and apathy...what will become of this 2009 Yankee team...

and...the answer comes to me from long ago. The season will end...someone will win...everyone else will lose...and we will roll around to another season...once again...and again...and...

Winning and losing can, indeed, seem like everything...but...in the end...there is no ultimate win...there are silent, 4th inning with 1 out moments of victory...moments of awesome effort from teams like the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Oakland A's, the Kansas City Royals...perfect games, no hitters, hitting the cycle's...

2009 Has been one of the best seasons for baseball since as far back as I can remember...and...whether it goes up or down for our teams, let's remember as this season comes to an end:

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

If I wrote fortune cookies inspired by Bruce Lee


"Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick." -Bruce Lee
Walls can keep us safe...walls can also hem us in. Be water. Water finds a way through walls.
Distractions exist to rob us of endurance, to break us down, and make us ineffective. At best, distractions can inspire, at worst, they can become the very deathblow to faith, confidence, and hope.
Never resist distractions or set-backs...never succumb to discouragement and fear. Acknowledge these as gifts...as plateaus...plateaus from which to further ascend, to confront, to utilize for your advantage, to master.
Let not that which cannot be achieved slip away from your sites. Press on. Sometimes the goal isn't meant to be reached...it is merely something to aim at...
The only thing that separates our ability to be all we could possibly be is our own willingness to accept defeat. Why quench the power of victory? Push the envelope. Reach, strive...fail and fall...and continue to will the win. Failing and falling are stepping stones in every successful event that has ever transpired under the sun...you are not alone.
A man can have intellectual wisdom, but his wisdom is worthless without having been in the arena, himself. Having been bruised, beaten, and exhausted...being forced to discover how to endure despite seeming failure. Embrace failure and frustration...welcome disappointment. They will become the very callousses of your spirit that will protect you on your journey if you don't lose heart and cave in to fear and doubt.
Never let someone else's negative influence have contact with your core. That which is from them is theirs. Never leave their negative influence upon your heart as though any aspect of their destruction belongs to you. Shed emotional connection to such. They require nothing from you.
Embrace only that which is purely deserving of your praise, honor, faith, and respect.
Knit yourself to that which edifys. Free yourself from fear. Shout your flaws to the world and remove your shackles to that which binds you.
Wisdom is not an aspect of intellect...wisdom is a verb.
"Let the spirit out - Discard all thoughts of reward, all hopes of praise and fears of blame, all awareness of one's bodily self. And, finally closing the avenues of sense perception, let the spirit out, as it will.”

"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Mark Buehrle Tosses Perfection!





Eric was texting me about a game going on against the evil Tampa Bay faction of wife beaters and convicted felons...

I didn't know it was him...nor was I the slightest bit interested in some random Tampa Stupid Bay game...nor some random Chicago White Sox game...I was knee-deep into an online checkers game against some person from China and I was not about to lose...

Took a breather when the game was done...funny...I don't even recall right this moment if I beat the China dude...

Checked my texts. This is what I read:

1. Chicago is whooping up on Kazmir. Buehrle is no hitting them thru 5inn

2. He's thru 7 now, and Happy Birthday Darlin

3. Oh Shit he is pitching a perfect game

4. Perfect thru 8

5. And he faces the bottom of the order in the 9th

6. Ok here we go. 9th inning

7. Buehrle is perfect. 9th inn starting

Well, NEEDLESS TO SAY...i RAN LIKE HELL to find my remotes...wondering how long ago the last text arrived...wondering why the hell I hadn't somehow KNOWN about this...through the baseball gods or something...

TREMBLING as I clicked on the television, hoping to find WHICH STUPID CHANNEL MLB EXTRA-INNINGS would have this game on...and

BOOYAH! It was being shown LIVE on ESPN. I came in right about here...

watch and enjoy my friends. What an awesome way to officially start my day...and I am soooo grateful for good friends...who never give up on you...who continue to reach out...and bring a little slice of heaven into your world.

Happy Birthday, indeed. ~kathryn


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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Cisco Kid Was a Friend of Mine: Yankees Option Francisco Cervelli

I guess I knew something was amiss when I saw Jose Molina at the game this afternoon.


I guess I had already become keenly aware of the fact that Molina's 15-day DL stint had been going on several months now; and I had read several articles where he seemed quite unhappy.

I guess it doesn't take a genius to realize that the money the Yankees organization had shelled out to Molina wasn't going to simply be squandered while he sat on his thumb in Scranton for the remainder of the season...

(But then, again...Who knows? I mean, I guess I had reason to think nothing might change, and Molina could learn to be happy...?)
Major League franchises don't just waste money however, so why would I think Molina might never return?
I dunno. Ask Brian Cashman.
Better yet, ask Carl Pavano.

Francisco Cervelli was optioned by the Yankees today. Jose Molina has returned to the roster. I would theorize a few people are relieved...and I theorize a few of those people might actually see the move of Cervelli back to the minors as reasonable and responsible.

Whatever for them....

Sure, I like Molina. He's a fine catcher and I can win the Name-that-Molina game when playing along on SportsCenter because of him.
But...I like Francisco Cervelli heaps better than either Molina or Jorge.
Sacrilege, I know. But, the honest-to-God-truth.
I guess the first time I can honestly recall coming to the realization that there was a person on the planet by the name of Francisco Cervelli, was a year and some change ago...a couple of seasons ago...when I used to peruse the Minor rosters and crunch the stats and play the game of hunt-and-seek-the-next-rookie-Yankee-phenom with myself.

(It was a short-lived game due to the fact that:
a: We have no draft picks to develop-- as we are idiots with regard to trades and really don't give much of a shit for saving our draft picks; and
b: what we really want is a win NOW-- Not in 3 years or 4 years--NOW. We only develop our "prospects," so we can trade them off, usually for some broken- down, ego-centered asshole who will contribute absolutely nothing for our team, aside from a controversial headline or two and perhaps an arrest or sordidly slanderous book, eventually.)

(Makes me wonder if Randy Johnson's shoulder is feeling better this week...)

(And I guess Roger Clemens isn't in prison yet?)

I digress.


I had seen his name, but never really opted to invest interest in the lad, as he was merely in the AA and hadn't really had much experience prior to that. Or so I thought. I was sorely mistaken, and his experience is vast.

Francisco Cervelli (born March 6, 1986, in Valencia, Venezuela) was an international signee by the Yankees in 2003 and played in the 2009 World Baseball Classic for Team Italy. He is a Venezuelan of Italian descent.

In Venezuela, Cervelli played shortstop, second base, and sometimes pitched. The Yankees signed him as an international free agent on the stipulation that he would try catching.

Cervelli played in the Dominican Summer League in 2003. He arrived as a switch hitter, but was encouraged to bat right-handed. After struggling to adjust in 2004 and 2005, Cervelli batted .309 for the Single-A Staten Island Yankees in 2006. In 2007, he played for the Tampa Yankees, where he batted .279 with an OBP of .387 and two home runs. Baseball America rated him the 23rd-best prospect on the Yankees prior to the 2008 season.

On March 8, 2008, he fractured his wrist on a controversial play during a spring training game against the Tampa Bay Rays, when a Rays infielder collided with him at home plate in the ninth inning. He didn't return until June 2008. Cervelli was called up to the Yankees where he made his major league debut on September 18, 2008, as a defensive replacement.

He began the 2009 season with the Double-A Trenton Thunder, until he was called up by the Yankees on May 5, 2009, when Jorge was placed on the 15-day DL. Cervelli made his first major league start on May 7, after Molina injured his quad. He had 3 major league games of experience prior to this call up, and had never played Triple-A. He recorded his first major league hit, a single, on May 8, against Baltimore, while also catching for C.C. Sabathia during a complete game shutout. Cervelli is hitting .269 since his call-up.
The Yankees are 15-8 in games with Cervelli catching.

The Yankees were a game over .500 and 3 1/2 games out of first place when Cervelli arrived. They are now 15 games over and one game out.

Another Yankee prospect sent back to a field where idiots like Kei Igawa rule. Another season of allowing complacent veterans to reside on a field, in a game, during a season where: it really doesn't matter how it all comes out in the end. The contracts are set, the money is guaranteed.

The infield liners are glanced at, the pitches are always called for fastballs, and the latest sunglasses and hairstyles are of chief import.

Again: Whatever...

I'm not going to go into all the stats over our boy Francisco. Quite frankly, I'm too tired and it will only feed my frustration. Suffice it to say: He was beyond impressive. Google it. Discover what I know. And to what conclusion might you arrive? Just another ball player...just another team...just another year...

It's only a game...

Yeah. It is. But...beyond the typical stupid Wednesday I've spent gassing my car and chasing down dental vendors over missing products...Francisco Cervelli was a spark of enthusiasm that I eagerly looked forward to beholding on a daily basis.

The Kid mesmerized me with his natural ability. His composure and stealth against opponents...his knack for drawing the pitcher into a place of confidence...calling pitches with the greatest of ease...opining to flow against the current effectively.

And his bat wasn't all too bad either.

It was Cervelli who ended the 14 inning hit less streak moments after Girardi's ejection against the Braves...


It was Cervelli who suffered a broken wrist during Spring Training against the evil Tampa Bay faction early last season which lead to an everlasting hatred of all things Tampa Bay in my heart and mind...

It was Cervelli who came in when both Posada and Molina fell...having only 3 major league games under his belt at the time...

...from the first moment he appeared until even this present moment, I am grateful and proud to have supported, prayed, laughed, and enjoyed what this phenomenal young man has brought to this team I love...

Heroism.

The Yankee heads say they can see a "place for him in the majors, someday." Inasmuch as I appreciate their well-wishing as they scoot the lad onto the first outgoing bus, I have to wonder: WHO'S TEAM?

Forgive my cynicism. But, I've endured many years as a Yankee fan. I've seen the flavors of the month come and go. I've seen "losers," like Ohlendorf traded away like chattel and re-discovered their thriving lives in places like Pittsburgh...

Hell. Who hasn't once been with us? Mike Lowell, Carlos Pena, the list is endless. I hate it. I hate the way we shell out money for names. I hate the lack of passion and hunger for the game. I hate the smugness based on numbers from a season that never amounted to one damned thing...but a fat worthless paycheck.

Oh...whatever. I'm tired. The Yankees will do what the Yankees will do...and I will stand behind them, even if that means that I don't always agree with what they do...and I will become frustrated when they once again settle for second best...or third...or worse...settle for having the names...having the money...

...but crumbling in the first round...

...if we even get that far.

and...in between it all...I will have the opportunity to see the kids sneak in...when a fat-paid vet gets an ingrown toenail and is on the DL for a month...


then...I will get to see the Ramiro Pena's and the Cody Ransoms and the Francisco Cervelli's of the world...I will get to see them come up and play like unleashed lightning bolts, who will sizzle the world, and dazzle their onlookers...and they will engrave a smile deep into my heart of hearts...then I shall be satisfied...then I shall remember what makes this game so amazing to me...
the hunger...
and the heroes.

"Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Friday, May 29, 2009

Is Josh Beckett Immune from Being Ejected?


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"God d-mn it! That was a f---ing ball?!"

This is the story about Todd Tichenor's first four ejections of 2009.

I was outside on my patio yesterday morning...talking on the phone about the game...sipping a Red Bull...watching through the glass door...when I beheld a rukus...

It appeared that Jason Varitek was having an issue with the strike zone NOT being called in his favor, which I found amusing.

Inasmuch as Varitek has been exceedingly brilliant in calling for outside pitches which no batter in their right mind would swing at, Varitek has also mastered the feat of framing said pitches to the exact "sweet spot," of the strike zone (within nano-seconds of catching them) thus causing the umpires to call them for strikes.

Sometimes this framing-effect requires a readjustment of several inches...but Varitek is an ace...a Master of the Grand Illusion...In fact, I'm fairly certain Jason Varitek was a zillionairre pick-pocket in another life...where he was probably also a cross-dresser...but I digress...

"God d-mn it! That was a f---ing ball?!"

One would think if Jason Varitek uttered these words at the officiating umpire, he would be ejected. Well, he was ejected. But Jason Varitek didn't utter these words...

One would think if Terry Francona uttered these words at the officiating umpire, he would be ejected. Well, he was also ejected. But he, also, did not utter these words...

In fact, let's just haul off and toss in a couple of them guys from the Minnesota Twins and eject them, too.

Let's say one of those guys could be Mike Redmond, catcher for the Twins, and let's just say Redmond opted to toss out a few choice words at the officiating umpire...


Words like "I got his arm."

OUT.

And let's wrap it all up neatly into a neat little package of Redmond's manager, Ron Gardenhire, simply inquiring why his catcher was ejected, by asking "Why did you eject him?"

OUT.

It all really started off with Dustin Pedroia. "Mr. Woodland, California," hit a fly ball to right fielder Jason Kubel, who immediately threw it home. Redmond caught the ball and clearly tagged Jeff Bailey, who attempted to slide his arm in at the last second. Tichenor called Bailey safe.


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Crew chief Jerry Layne: "I just looked at our replay and it's inconclusive."

Jeff Bailey: "There's no question a tag was made. Did I get my hand in there first? I really can't tell."

Mike Redmond: "I thought I got him at home and that's it. I just said, 'I got his arm.' I didn't swear at him or anything. In 11 years in the big leagues, I've done a lot worse out there and stayed in the game. I didn't expect to get thrown out. I didn't touch him or anything."

Vice president of umpiring Mike Port said he watched some of the game at his office in New York, but he did not feel comfortable commenting on Tichenor's performance until he was able to watch the events, then read Tichenor's report and review the ejections.

Uh huh.
Well then...you may ask...who the hell uttered the words:
"God d-mn it! That was a f---ing ball?!"


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Why, I reply:
Mister Josh You-Can't-Eject-Me-Cause-Clearly-I-Have-Diplomatic-Immunity-From-Ever-Being-Ejected-Even-If-I-Curse-The-Very-God-You-Refer-To-On-Your-Printed-Currency-and-Whom-You-Pray-To-When-The-Chips-Are-Down-In-Fact-I-Can-Take-Head-Shots-To-Bobby-Abreu-Whenever-The-Hell-I-Want-And-Still-Stay-In-The-Game Beckett, himself.

All four ejections occured in the seventh inning of the Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins game yesterday, at the discretion of Home Plate Umpire Todd Tichenor.

These are the 48th, 49th, 50th, and 51st ejections within MLB for 2009. There have been roughly 48 games played this year.

Friday, April 24, 2009

a quick muse and thought--


...like fingernails to a chalk board...

...like the slip of your knife while slicing lemons...

...like the explosive burst of a midsummer's moth on your newly waxed windshield...

...chewing foil...a thorn in your sock...sand in your eye...a dead battery...that one driver who cannot figure out what to do when the light turns green...

josh beckett is all of this to me. all of this


and so much more.

yankees / red sox begins again tonight at fenway.

i hold no opinions, whatsoever, for it's outcome. no predictions. no forecasts.

i hold my breath.

if joba hurls one high and inside upon youk, all hell will break loose.

we know this.

if lester hauls off and drills our boy jorge in the shoulder, it will be considered unintentional, however.

thus...i theorize the one who will drill jorge in the shoulder will be javier lopez.

i theorize they'll go after jorge for obvious reasons. THAT, and he's the best producer, relatively speaking. THE MOST DAMAGE.

who would OUR target be? (insert appropriate explanation that bean-ball wars are offensive and immoral and the american league does not conduct itself like those heathen national league anti-heroes.)

our targer will most likely be jason bay.

it might be lowell due to his rbi contributions...

but bay is just open season.

mind you: i abhore HBPS. i hate them. i think they're more inhumane than being forced to watch jonathon papelbon exhale right before he stares down the batter while pursing his lips for 3 minutes.

but

this is the yankees v. boston.

this isn't necessarily emotion and intellect free baseball.

in conclusion...as i actually must show up at work today---

i've seen joba "lights-out," at fenway. i've seen lester melt within 2 innings. i've seen them ALL blow it...i've seen them all seemingly possessed by sandy koufax.

anything can and will happen.

but this ain't september.

if the red sox present with the same demeanor and skill that was displayed in anaheim...we will sweep them.

key to today's win for the yankees: lay low. fly under the radar. work lester's count and get to the bullpen.

ttfn. ~kat

Thursday, January 22, 2009

...with my good eye closed...

“Can I buy you a drink?” He repeated, this time his face beginning to blush.

My betting line was taking much longer than usual. I wasn’t so sure who to hate more. The woman at the counter, with her orange-pink hair that matched her pink-orange press-on fingernails…or each fat, balding, cigar-smoking better clogging up the line. Two minutes until post time, the man directly in front of me, spending an eternity on placing his bet, continued to wave his stubby arms while adjusting his thick glasses and reinserting his non-lit cigar nub back into his mouth every 3 seconds.

I found myself drowning my thoughts with the guitar solo from Soundgarden’s “Good Eye Closed.” When the music flows from my mp3 player, into my ears, into my brain, and throughout my bloodstream, it’s a drug I enjoy.

I enjoy riding away from reality…envisioning scenarios of absolute absurdity. Motion Picture Epic clips…the ceiling collapsing, perhaps.

I check the rafters. Steel. Pity. Steel is faily firm.

Refocus, Fat man still waving…cigar still unlit...

A flood. All the money floating from the cash registers…coins sinking…the unaware, and drunk, lingering on the bottom…me, floating and pocketing wet hundreds at the top…

He appeared out of nowhere, tapping me on the shoulder, saying something.

I rip out my headphones, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Can I buy you a drink?” He repeated, this time his face beginning to blush.

“No, thanks. I never touch the shit.” I replied automatically, while turning back to see it was finally my turn to bet. Miss Orange-pink waiting almost impatiently, “Thanks, anyhow.” I said while I took a step forward, “I’ll take $10 on the 1 to win.”

As I reached the last set of double doors at the racetrack, a thought hit me. Like a Mac Truck to a Chevy Luv on the freeway a midnight. In the rain. Going downhill without brakes on black ice.

He asked to buy me a drink. I’ve never so much as talked with the guy a day in my life. Why would I? He was this zillionaire horse owner, trainer, driver…I was just a handicapper. I mean, it was cool and everything, that he was trying to talk with me…but why would he care if I was thirsty or not?

A photo finish. Damn it! Why would there have to be so many photo finishes when it’s 2 degrees outside, pouring down rain? As I watched the instant replay of the finish, I clearly saw I won. I opted to return to Soundgarden and images of catastrophic fun. Looking around for structural weaknesses or other causes for calamity, I saw him through one of the windows. Smiling and raising his glass at me, I wondered how long I had been staring in his direction without noticing him. Instantly I was aware of the contrast, him sitting amidst all of the beautiful women and successful men…the skimpy dresses and 3 piece suits…the ambient lighting and energy-efficient heaters…HDTV’s and booming house music…

Me: blinking in the misty rain while wiping my nose with my glove. I waved back.

“It’s official,” is echoed on the steely speakers overlooking the winner’s circle…myself and a couple of fat, balding men slowly walk back to our eternal line from before. Miss Orange-Pink has been replaced by an elderly woman with a wig so black, it could be imagined a black cat fell asleep on her head, having been drawn to her from an uncontrollable attraction to her blinking fake gold lucky dice earrings.

“With my good eye closed,”…the realization of his encounter resurfacing to my puzzled mind…escaping again…I see the building fill with water…coins and drunks to the bottom…hundreds and me, scrambling atop…

but this time…also afloat...atop…smiling…warm…him…waving me over…

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The New York Yankees 2009 Spending Spree: The Quintessential Duct Tape Mouth Gag Response to Lack of MLB Parity



You gotta love the fights within Major League Baseball. I mean, hell, this ain't hockey. No one expects a professional ballplayer to just haul off and deck some mouthy batsman. Then again, we relish the moment it happens...

....You could always count on Kyle to flex some muscle...after all...when you can't find the strike zone with a 100+mph fastball...people begin to get edgy...fastballs whiffin past their heads...I dunno...kinda rude. But hell. That's why they wear helmets, right?

PARITY WITHIN MLB.

Ohdearjesus.

If i hear ONE MORE whining band-wagoner of the Pittsburgh Pirates scream FOUL over the Yankees' recent spending, I will literally hurl.

Now, we all know, the actual term isn't to be referred to. Not in recent days. Yes, yesteryear the term "parity," was used...but...as of the SELIG REGIME, one must appropriately apply the words "competitive balance," to any conversation, written or otherwise, when talking parity.

So, the shite hit the fan. The Yankees bought every single last free agent on the planet and spent a zillion dollars and are thereby destroying major league baseball via their big pockets, monopolizing, and extortion...causing "poorer," teams to disintegrate into a quad-rillion chunks of molten metal, flying through the atmosphere, never to be heard from again...



The evil empire attacking poor Alderaan.

Well, i submit to you: get over your personal hate of the Yankees for just long enough to be intelligent. Inasmuch as I enjoy a passionate argument just like the next guy, an unintelligent-passionate argument is just plain stupid. If you're going to have passion, apply it aptly. Keep your wits about you.

The concept that the New York Yankees have been successful in buying championships has long since been disproved. Thank God. As a Yankee fan, witnessing year after year after year, the mismanagement of the acquisitions, the whittling away of our possible prospects, and the collection of has-been free agents; I wholeheartedly applaud Tampa Bay for demonstrating: THE LITTLE GUY CAN FLOURISH.

(yeah. when you lose eternally, you get HELLA TIGHT DRAFT PICKS, HONEY, and can make the post-season, eventually.)

I digress.

PARITY.

IS THE SPENDING OF THE NEW YORK YANKEES EQUATING TO A DIMINISHED EQUALITY OF COMPETITIVENESS WITHIN MLB?

let's review some of the facts together, shall we?

Since 1995, ALL BUT 6 TEAMS HAVE MADE IT BEYOND THE ALDS/NLDS AND HAVE APPEARED IN EITHER THE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES OR THE WORLD SERIES.

ALL BUT 6.

In the ENTIRE LEAGUE.

Of those 6...many issues revolved around team ownership, or management...but...money, or lack of money by no means was the PRIMARY REASON for failure-to-thrive.

What other sport can declare that nearly every team within their entire league has made a post-season appearance within 13 seasons?

There is only 1 World Series winner who had a payroll over $100 MILLION DOLLARS:

THE BOSTON RED SOX.

Twice.

Clearly...there is more than 1 team who has spent over $100 MILLION DOLLARS, in order to make the playoffs and/or win the World Series.

Fact is: there are 7.

NYY: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07
BOS: 04, 05, 07, 08
LAA: 04, 05, 07, 08
CHI: 08
NYM: 06
LAD: 08
CHC: 08

TEAMS WHO SPENT OVER $100 MILLION DOLLARS AND DID NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN THE YEAR THEY SPENT OVER $100 MILLION DOLLARS:

BOS: 01,02
ATL: 08
NYM: 03, 05, 07, 08
SEA: 07, 08
LAD: 01, 03, 07
CHI: 06, 07
DET: 08

TEAMS WHO SPENT OVER $200 MILLION DOLLARS AND DID NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN THE YEAR THEY SPENT OVER $200 MILLION DOLLARS:
NYY: 08

TEAMS WHO NEVER, IN THE HISTORY OF THEIR TEAM PAYROLL, EVER SPENT $100 MILLION DOLLARS AND, IN FACT, DID MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN THE LAST 10 YEARS:

STL: 00, 01, 02, 04, 05, 06
ARI: 99, 01, 02, 07
CLE: 99, 01, 07
FLA: 03
HOU: 99, 01, 04, 05
MIL: 08
MIN: 02, 03, 04, 06
OAK: 00, 01, 02, 03, 06
PHI: 07, 08
SDP: 05, 06
SFG: 00, 02, 03
COL: 07
TBR: 08

Wow..based on this evidence...OUTSPENDING BY NO MEANS IS OUT-COMPETING.

...And, we ARE talking about "competitive balance within the MLB," right?
Because we certainly cannot simply be espousing some emotional anti-Yankee TOO MUCH SPENDING/DESTROYING THE LEAGUE diatribe to the whole world in response to the Yankees' acquiring Sabathia, Burnett, and Teixeira, right?
(A cute little side note to the Yankee-haters: uh...even IF the Yankees hauled off and picked up Manny, they'd STILL be SPENDING LESS IN 2009 THAN THEY SPENT IN 2008.)

I submit to you, the pesky Oakland Athletics have opted to NEVER raise their payroll to $100 MILLION DOLLARS,and they have made the playoffs 5 times. Those pesky Cardinals have also showed up in Ooctober 6 times in 9 years; without spending even half of what the Yankees spend.

IF the contention of all the Yankee-hatin' NO-PARITY-IN-MLB-OH-GOOD-GOD-GIVE-US-A-SALARY-CAP-LORD-SELIG is correct...and spending increases competitive imbalance...then please explain to me HOW the St. Louis Cardinals have managed to appear in the playoffs WITHOUT EVER SPENDING $100 MILLION DOLLARS, EVER, ON THEIR PAYROLL---> 6 TIMES in the last 10 years?

Please show me the clear evidence that exists to differentiate SPENDING=COMPETITIVE IMBALANCE when the mean differential between SPENDING divided by PLAYOFF APPEARANCES between a NON-SPENDER and the HIGHEST SPENDER is 1.

Since 1999: St. Louis spent less than $100 MILLION DOLLARS and made 6 playoff appearances.

The Yankees have repeatedly out-spent the entire league every year since 1999, and have made merely 7 playoff appearances, by contrast.

There are 7 teams who have spent over $100 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR, who amassed 14 failed seasons, never even securing a position within the post season.

Conversely, there are 13 teams who have NEVER SPENT OVER $100 MILLION DOLLARS, EVER, who, over the last 10 years, amassed 37 playoff appearances.
It is an unintelligent argument to contend that consistent competitiveness and spending are related.

I would suggest, based on the overwhelming evidence, that the opposite be true. In order to be consistently competitive within the MLB and to secure a post season position, NEVER SPEND OVER $100 MILLION DOLLARS.

...Then again...I could be wrong...

A salary cap is NOT the answer for the MLB. The Players Association would NEVER allow it, we'd have a strike, and Selig knows full well how much money would be on the line.

I don't believe the league is unequally competitive, based on the achievements of nearly all teams. I do, however, believe many team owners and/or CEO'S are highly irresponsible, apathetic, and greedy, when it comes to seeking further growth and profit for their team and it's players.

If I were to suggest any remedy for teams with less financial aptitude: I would suggest an adjustment of the revenue sharing and luxury taxes, HOWEVER: it would only make sense to do so with an enforced stipulation from team owners and management, that they be held accountable for re-investing those monies back into draft bonuses, player development, and payroll. And NOT to be used to line their own pockets while their team remains in ruin and ineffectuality.
“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.” - Fulton J. Sheen.